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Tuesday, July 31, 2001

What a day! I spent most of the day working on the Pixelitas site. We moved the site to Aletia where I also host Web Elegance. I tell you, I could not get anything to work right. We are utilizing a banner rotation program that would not work no matter what I did. I was about ready to give up when I decided to icq Aletia. What support I received! They ended up going to the original website and downloading the zip file, reading the documentation, and installing it on our site for us. So all is well and ends well. I could have kissed those people at Aletia. I have never had such wonderful service before! Did I mention I wasted over 10 hours trying to get it to work?

Another casualty was the message board. Apparently we should have exported it from our old server and imported it on the new. So rather than start over, we decided to use the EZ Board. It will do for now. We are also opening the forum up to the public...or at least some of the forums. So in case you are bored, stop over at our new forums.

I really want to write more, but I'm tired. Thanks to everyone for the encouragement on my smoking. I know that I will try again some day.

Posted by Leah @ 11:08 PM CST [Link]

Monday, July 30, 2001

I am so easily stressed. Even when my life is going wonderful and very smooth, I feel the sensation of butterflies in my stomach most of the time. This come and goes though depending on the day for no reason that I can see. I wonder why this is. When I wake up in the morning, I sometimes feel immediate butterflies in my stomach. It's nuts I tell you.

Also, I quit smoking on April 1 of this year and started back in last week. I made it almost 4 months. The cigg. cravings got much worse just over one month ago and I finally gave in. I'm tired of fighting it. I gave up. Plus I have gained so much weight from trying to quit, so that doesn't help. I feel guilty sometimes and I feel like a failure. The main problem was "I" didn't really "want" to quit. I know I should. I know it's bad for me. Yet still, I wish to smoke. Plus it doesn't help that I'm actually addicted. So there you have it. I'm human. I have failed. I will not try to quit again until I know I can make it and truly want to quit. I'm not sure when that will be, but for now I am smoking. Shawn has never smoked, he doesn't like the smell, he worries about me, he dislikes the fact that I'm smoking again, but he will never tell me to quit. I know he wants me to and that is enough. Though apparently it's not enough for me not to start in again. Tomorrow is another day.

Posted by Leah @ 09:48 PM CST [Link]

Saturday, July 28, 2001

I got my sellers permit for my new business!! This is very exciting for me and a huge milestone to becoming legit with my business. The name of my business is Joy 'n Heart. I chose that name because the word Joy holds a special meaning for me and I thought it flowed well with heart. The word Joy always reminds me of Jesse. There are certain words and phrases that comfort me since his death, and that is just one of them. So I am working extremely hard on my new site now as I really need to get it finished asap. I was hung up on designing the logo but now have that finished and am trying desperately to design some graphics for the site itself. I'm feeling pressured because I know I want a design I can keep for a long time. So back to work I go. :)

Posted by Leah @ 07:00 PM CST [Link]

Shawn and I went to a Brewer game last night with a bus load of people and had a blast. Our mutual friend invited us to go along with her coworkers, so we didn't really know anyone or what to expect. The bus ride down to Milwaukee was fun as we all were talking, and had a few drinks. Then we tailgated for about an hour and didn't get into the stadium until about an hour after the game had started. The new stadium was awesome! I got a few pics but haven't downloaded them from my camera yet so not sure how they turned out.

The ride home from the game was a whole different story. There were a lot of drunk people and the noise level was much higher. Someone in the back of the bus was smoking pot, which I could not believe especially as this was a bus load of people who worked for the State!! One girl got caught in the bathroom with another man by her husband. Needless to say the ride home was more stressful with the drinking, drugs, and arguments going on. Shawn and I were glad to get off the bus and could not believe how some people behave after having a few drinks.

We'd do it again in a heartbeat though as it was an experience to remember. For the most part, it was still a blast! Next time though we'll go with our own friends.

So we didn't get home until very late, which meant I slept very late this morning and haven't gotten much work done. So I better get to it.

Posted by Leah @ 01:20 PM CST [Link]

Thursday, July 26, 2001

We had a good time at the E.A.A. I got a few good pics so I decided to show my favorite ones. I loved watching these four the most as they did a wonderful job at staying in formation. I'm really beat and will write more later.

Posted by Leah @ 11:53 PM CST [Link]

Where does the time go anymore? It's been a busy week here. Monday night I celebrated my brother's birthday with the family. We all went out to eat, and it was a nice time.

Shawn and I had a huge disagreement over the weekend that lasted for two days. It started out as a minor issue but esculated into something much more before we were done. Though we argue constructively, some hurtful things were said on my part (though I know it's wrong). Shawn is always very laid back and never initiates an argument, so usually it's because of me. Whenever I feel like he has done or said something wrong, I mention it and we discuss it. Well this time, there was some major miscommunication going on. He was not hearing what I was saying and vice versa.

This has happened one other time with us, so we ended up writing everything down on paper. So I wrote him a long letter detailing what I was trying to say, how I felt hurt, and what I was feeling. He responded with a letter of his own. I could clearly sense his frustration with the issues we were trying to work out and some anger. When he gets mad, he gets a little sarcastic, but that is about it. So there was a bit of sarcasm in his letter. Finally, we went over each of our points in our letters and are working through them one by one.

We know we won't resolve our issues in one day but we've both agreed to work on it. We each have some things we need to change, nothing major though. The main thing is we love each other and do want to always keep our lines of communication open. Shawn is the first man I've dated who really wants to talk about "us" and work out issues. We both know relationships are a lot of work (though ours is so good most of the time that it hardly seems like it). He has been so good for me as I am a worrywart and the nervous type so he gives me a different viewpoint on things and helps calm me down, especially when I excessively worry about something very minor. So that is what was going on Sunday and part of Monday.

On Monday night Shawn and I went out to eat and then came home and played Triple Yahtzee (which I won) and then he wanted to play the game called Risk. I had never played it before, but it's one of Shawn's favorite games so I agreed. He claimed that he has never lost a game. Well, the game went on until 2 a.m. (about 4 hours) and I won!! It's funny because it's a very strategic game and I didn't think I'd be any good. Shawn took the loss well, though he hardly ever loses anything he plays. So the next day I asked him to play again as I figured I only won as a fluke. Well, I won again! LOL Shawn just grins and I think I see a new appreciation for me in his eyes hehe.

We didn't do much yesterday as Shawn golfed. We did go for a few bike rides over the last few days though and rented a couple movies last night.

Today we are going to the E.A.A. which should be a lot of fun. There is an air show and tons of planes to take pictures of. So I hope I get some good shots.

There has been a lot of stuff going on with my family (problems) that are weighing heavily on my mind, though I don't wish to write about them now. Maybe later.

Well, I better start getting ready. Shawn and I are going to the Brewers game tomorrow night with a bus load of friends etc. so that should be a good time too. I'm having a very busy but fun filled week.

Posted by Leah @ 12:48 PM CST [Link]

Sunday, July 22, 2001

Welcome home! I'm sorry to hear about your motel experience but am glad you were only there one night. I've always booked my motels/hotels from the internet and so far have been happy. So I'm glad the rest of your trip was good. :)

Posted by Leah @ 08:23 AM CST [Link]

Well it turns out Shawn got home at 6:15 so we went to the movie after all. It was very good and suspenseful. We both are so fascinated by dinosaurs anyway so there was no way we wouldn't enjoy the movie. I'm glad I saw that one in the theater as the special effects were awesome. Shawn and I were one of the only couples there without children though :).

I had another awful dream last night. I am getting so tired of my dreams. This one was again about Shawn. It's was very weird. Apparently Shawn, my brother, me, Shawn's friend, and a bunch of other people were all at this huge party, which was held in this huge building with a bar and also outside. In the dream Shawn decides to go into the bar to talk to a buddy. For some reason I decided to stay outside by myself. Eventually I went inside to look for Shawn and found him in this bar area still talking to the buddy. There were tons of girls in there and they were all giggling so I knew Shawn was telling jokes. I'm not sure why I didn't sit with him, but I turned around and went back outside. I know I was irritated that he was still in there. Well a few hours later I went back into the bar to get Shawn as I knew it was time to leave and he was nowhere to be found. I got really angry and decided to leave him there as he had lied to me and rudely disappeared. So I found my brother and we were getting ready to leave when Shawn shows up with his buddy. I glared at him and we never did say one word to each other. It was understood that he had screwed up and that it was over between us. Then I woke up.

I really hate these dreams. I'm not sure what they mean but it appears as if I'm insecure and worried about Shawn or something, which I'm not. It's strange because I've been having bad dreams almost nightly ever since the tornado. Once in awhile I actually dream about the tornado but most of the time they are very scary dreams, where I am full of anger, and usually someone is trying to kill me or something and I'm trying to defend myself. I can understand where those dreams come from as I know I have some anger deep inside of me. I'm not sure I'll ever "feel right" about the tornado and losing my son. This just doesn't sit well with me and never will. I have accepted that Jesse is dead, though some times I still can't believe it and wish it were untrue. I know it's very unfair, but I also know "that's life" and that God has a plan for me. I have a feeling Shawn might have been part of that plan :). So anyway, I'm not sure why these dreams I'm having lately seem to be focused around Shawn.

I'm going to work on my new site again today. I hope to have it up and running in a few weeks. I'll write more later.

Posted by Leah @ 08:05 AM CST [Link]

Saturday, July 21, 2001

Oh shoot, Shawn got ordered to stay at work for a double shift so we won't be going to the movie tonight. He works at a Correctional Institution as an Officer so this happens fairly frequently. He was lucky enough to get on first shift almost straight out of the academy, but that means he is low man on the totempole. So we'll try to get to the movie tomorrow night.

So this means I have the house to myself. Woohoo! I'm going to create some new graphics but not sure if I want to do linkware or if I'll work on my business designs. We shall see. :)

Posted by Leah @ 03:20 PM CST [Link]

Good morning. I've been up since 6 a.m. so I already got a lot of work done. I'm busy burning cd's and backing up my stuff. I also uploaded two new blog templates.

I am so tired today. I went to bed after 1 a.m. and only woke up so early because it was so hot! We had the central air on but our upstairs never gets as cool as the downstairs. I'm not sure if something is wrong with it or not, but we'll be getting it checked out this fall.

Shawn and I are going to a movie tonight. I haven't been to one in years! We are going to see Jurassic Park 3. We are both kids at heart :).

Well, not much to add. I'm working on more designs for my new business and that's about it, plus some housework. I'm going to read a few blogs first though.

Posted by Leah @ 09:59 AM CST [Link]

I hope you have a wonderful vacation! I was in the Keys last October and the weather was as beautiful as the scenery. I can't wait to go back!

Posted by Leah @ 12:46 AM CST [Link]

Friday, July 20, 2001

Ugh, it's been a long day *sigh*. I worked in Mom's store and was beat when I got home. It was so hot and humid and I ran my butt off (I wish). Anyway, then this whole copycat thing grated on my nerves and made me somewhat crabby, which affected my evening with Shawn for a bit. He is such a good listener though and I felt so much better after talking to him about it. So I am dropping that subject for now.

Then to top it off, one of my very best friends is dealing with her mom's cancer, which is not going good. My friend received some horrible news today that the cancer is spreading. I feel so helpless and sad for her and wish I could help. I'm sure she would appreciate your warm thoughts and/or prayers.

I finally got my new cd burner and I love it! Speaking of which, I'm going to back up my stuff asap. I'll write more tomorrow!

Posted by Leah @ 11:07 PM CST [Link]

Well, it's not over yet. I have received another email from this woman who is "still" claiming innocence and now says she has a partner (yeah right) and threatening me with harrassment for my two emails LOL. I have both my emails to her and neither could possibly be construed as harrassment. I am not reading anymore of her emails and may end up suing her for harrassment if she doesn't stop writing me. This is just nuts!!

Posted by Leah @ 05:44 PM CST [Link]

Well the copycat wrote me again (after telling me I could not respond to her first email) still claiming innocence and yet she has changed her design. My response is below:

I have not put any comments in your guestbook and didn't even know you had one. You and I both know you stole my words, but if you want to believe your own lies, that is your choice. I have had this happen to me many times over the years and it always amazes me that when I accuse someone, they claim innocence, and yet they remove their site or change the design. I have never been accused of theft and never HAD to change my design. I think that only shows guilt.

I have not been nasty to you or responded in an inappropriate manner. You made it very clear in your last email that I was not allowed to respond so I posted about the situation in my blog, which is where others probably found your site.

Leah

The change of her design speaks for itself. Thanks to everyone for your support!

Posted by Leah @ 08:38 AM CST [Link]

Thursday, July 19, 2001

Does this look familiar? I wrote the person in question and received a very nasty email in response stating "she had never been to my site" and that "couldn't it be possible for her to come up with the same idea". My gosh, she copied my text WORD FOR WORD (though I have since updated my site with different wording). The design is obviously "inspired" by my site also. It's too bad people will never learn.

Posted by Leah @ 12:00 PM CST [Link]

Wednesday, July 18, 2001

Whew, it looks like I finally got everything working again. I really missed this journal for the past couple of days, though I have gotten so much work done.

I created a bunch of new designs for my new business which means I'm a bit more than half done. I am going to try and create my logo tomorrow as I'd really like to start the website.

It's been incredibly hot and humid here the past few days, so I haven't felt like doing much outside. I am going to take a bike ride in the morning though before I get on the pc as I'm starting to feel lazy. It had rained off and on so I didn't get a chance to ride for a couple days.

Well, I better go around my site and make sure I'm not missing any files. :)

Posted by Leah @ 10:31 PM CST [Link]

I owe a huge thanks to Bev for helping me with my blog as I was having a few problems since moving it to the new server. Let me give you all a tip that will save you hours and hours of time. If you need to move Greymatter to a new server, you may also need to individually chmod all your files in your archive directory to 777. :)

Posted by Leah @ 10:28 PM CST [Link]

Well I am on the new server now and need to make sure everything is working properly.

Posted by Leah @ 10:20 PM CST [Link]

Sunday, July 15, 2001

I think I'm addicted to riding my new bike. We went for two bike rides last night and it was so much fun! I was extremely hot and sweaty and a bit tired, but I still enjoyed it. I'm waiting for Shawn to get back from errands and we'll be going again.

We didn't make it to church this morning as we overslept. We don't officially belong to a church yet so we usually go to Shawn's church. I think once we are married we will be joining the Luthern church which is right across the street from our house. It will be convenient and I hear the church is really nice.

I'm still finishing up my blog template and will relax for the rest of the day. I just love these 4 day weekends with Shawn. :)

Posted by Leah @ 09:44 AM CST [Link]

Saturday, July 14, 2001

I got a new bike, and the price was so reasonable! We just got back from a bike ride around the lake. Whew, I had forgotten how tiring riding up hills could be, but I feel very refreshed. We rode around for a bit and then rode to the nearest video place and rented Space Cowboys and an older one The Thomas Crown Affair.

We didn't go to the lake as we were both kind of lazy so we did some stuff around the house and then bought the bike. I think we'll go after church tomorrow. The weather has been so gorgeous so I really want to take advantage of it before it rains again, which is what the weather channel is predicting for Monday-Wednesday.

Well I'm going to watch my movies and spend time with Shawn. :)

Posted by Leah @ 05:16 PM CST [Link]

Well I did it. I signed up with Aletia Webhosting yesterday and am waiting for everything to be set up. This package is just what I've been looking for, and the price is right. So I'll need to move everything very soon, hopefully this weekend yet. I am going to host both of my domains there.

I'm going to the lake in an hour so I won't be getting any work done today. The weather is so gorgeous so I'm going to take advantage of it. Plus Shawn is going to buy me a new bike, yippy! I haven't ridden a bike in years, but I always loved it. I'm looking forward to evening bike rides and maybe burning off a pound or two.

I have almost finished two more blog templates, but I will wait to upload them when my site is transferred over. Well I'm off to surf some blogs.

Posted by Leah @ 10:52 AM CST [Link]

Friday, July 13, 2001

It's another beautiful day today and I have the next 4 days off! I had a horrid day yesterday in mom's store as it was so busy, which is actually good, but I wasn't able to get as much other work done as I had wanted. It's so hard because I only work there two days a week at the most as I'm keeping busy with my web business.

I plan to finish another blog template today and then back to work on my new site. I'm searching the web for a cdrw and will probably order that also today. I have decided on an external one so I don't need to go without my pc for a few days while the pc store installs it. This should be good enough for my needs. I mainly need it to back up my stuff and for my pictures. I have taken so many pictures that both my hard drives are so full I can't even add my latest pictures! I do have to clean them out though as there are a lot of duds, so I'll probably work on that some also today.

My dreams were about Shawn now for the last 3 nights. Last night was actually a very good dream though I can't remember the details. I do remember we were traveling somewhere along the Pacific coast as we were on this very steep hill and Shawn told me to look out my window and about 200 feet below me there was the ocean. It was a tad scary because the road we were on was very steep without any guardrails so we could have driven right into the ocean. I can't recall the rest of the dream but it has left me with a good feeling so I know it wasn't bad.

Well I better get some work done. I'll post more later.

Posted by Leah @ 08:41 AM CST [Link]

Wednesday, July 11, 2001

It's going to be a gorgeous day today! I think I will go to the lake when Shawn gets home from work. I created two new blog templates so yesterday was productive. I haven't created anything new in so long, and I'm having a blast. I'm going to see if I can whip up another one yet today before I go run my errands.

I had another horrible dream last night. I wish I knew what these stemmed from. What I remember about this dream was that I was in a motel room (very large room) with my two cats and all my belongings (as if I were moving), waiting for Shawn and my brother to get back from the carnival (weird). I had to leave the room for some odd reason at 10:30 a.m. and got back at noon only to find my brother sleeping in one bed and Shawn sleeping in another bed, with another woman! It was strange because they were both fully clothed, and it did not appear as if he were cheating or anything like that. And I did not get upset or suspect him of cheating either. I simply woke them up to find out how the carnival went. The lady was very sarcastic to me, and all three had been drinking heavily. At this point I did start to wonder if Shawn had cheated on me with this woman so I ripped the covers back to see what she was wearing, and she was naked!!! So I looked Shawn in the eye and told him goodbye and that we were finished. He was acting all innocent and swore up and down that nothing happened. I told him even if nothing happened, her being naked has crossed over the line, and that he may as well finish the job as it was too late. Then I woke up.

Whew, what a dream! I have such a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach now because of it. It's funny how my mind works. I would swear up and down that Shawn would not cheat on me. I don't think about it or worry about it, which leads me to believe this dream has a much deeper meaning. I would love to find a good book on interpreting dreams so if anyone knows of any, please leave a comment.

Ok, I best get some work done here.

Posted by Leah @ 09:09 AM CST [Link]

Tuesday, July 10, 2001

I am so angry right now! Almost two years ago I signed up with NoMonthlyFees for my host. I was under the impression, there was a one time payment of $200 and that I would be responsible for the yearly domain renewal fee of $35. So in March of this year, I got a bill from NMF for $35, which I paid. Now this week I received a bill from Network Solutions for the $35 renewal. So I wrote to NMF and they replied that the $35 I paid went toward the cost of my host, not my domain renewal. Luckily I had just transferred my domain to Godaddy for $8.95 per year so I won't be paying the $35 twice. BTW, the transfer went very smoothly so I am pleased.

I have had so many problems with down time for not only my site but also my email way too much this past month or two. Now this double bill is the final straw! I have removed all links to NMF from my site. I am switching hosts.

Bottom line is I highly DO NOT RECOMMEND NoMonthlyFees as I feel mislead. I am sorry that I ever recommended anyone to them.

Posted by Leah @ 02:18 PM CST [Link]

I have finished my first Blog Template today. I have plans to create another one yet this afternoon if I get the time. These are a lot of fun to make and it's nice to have a use for all these photos I've been taking.

I have a very good friend who could really use some prayers right now. Her mom is battling cancer and as you can imagine, it's a difficult time for everyone. I am keeping everyone in my thoughts and prayers and would appreciate it you would do the same. Thanks!

Posted by Leah @ 12:11 PM CST [Link]

Good morning! I have the day off and decided to create a linkware design for a change. I'm almost done and will upload it very soon. Shawn is golfing in a tournament for the day so I have the house to myself. There is so much I want to do today, but I doubt I'll get to it all. For now I'm just going to play. :)

I haven't been sleeping very good lately, and I'm not sure why. My body is responding to stress though I'm not sure why I'm stressed. I've been staying up way too late and getting up way too early. I figure I'll crash one of these days. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying this extra time to get work done.

Posted by Leah @ 09:06 AM CST [Link]

Monday, July 9, 2001

I'm working in my mom's store today and decided to take a break. It's been so busy that I haven't had a chance to eat my lunch until 2 p.m. Hardly a day goes by that I don't come home with something I "had to have" from the store. Today it's a wooden Fruit of the Spirit board with little Amish kids painted on it. It's approximately 24" long and so adorable. I will take a pic of it if I can later.

Shawn plays softball tonight and has a doubleheader, but I'm not sure if I'll go along. Normally I try to get to his games to cheer him on, but my friend won't be there and I really don't want to sit there in this heat (90 and humid) alone. I will probably stay home and get some pc work done. I haven't made a linkware set in ages and would love to sit down and create. I just may create some new blog designs or something.

Well I better get back to work. I have a tough boss LOL.

Posted by Leah @ 02:35 PM CST [Link]

Sunday, July 8, 2001

Good morning! It's a gorgeous day here today! Shawn and I will be going to the lake when he gets home from work. We are meeting my family there to celebrate my niece's third birthday. It should be a good time. I'm not sure if I'll ride the jetski today as I'm still a little sore though I will for sure get in the paddleboat as that is fun and good exercise.

I'm busy working on my new business designs yet. I would like to create approximately 150 designs and have around 40 done so I will be busy for the next few days to say the least. I may not create that many right away though if my sales permit comes in, but until then, I will continue with the new designs.

Well, I better get back to work.

Posted by Leah @ 08:57 AM CST [Link]

Saturday, July 7, 2001

I got a lot accomplished today (workwise), and I am pleased.

Shawn and I went out for Mexican and then rented What Women Want. The movie was a hilarious romantic comedy, but then I am a sucker for Mel Gibson. I highly recommend renting this movie. Shawn kind of groaned when I first picked it out but he admits it was very good, and we both giggled through most of it.

Well, I am still trying to get a few more designs done yet tonight so I better hush for now.

Posted by Leah @ 10:34 PM CST [Link]

Thanks for the welcome back Stephanie. Your house is adorable!

Posted by Leah @ 12:33 PM CST [Link]

I'm taking a break from working on my new business designs. I am having so much fun creating these new designs for print. It's very time consuming though so I hope I can finish enough of them by the time my sales permit arrives.

I had another nightmare last night. I can't recall it right now but I know it was awful as it woke me up! I am so tired of these bad dreams, and I know I usually have them when I am stressed. I really don't have anything to be stressed out about, but I feel it anyway. There are some family problems (nothing concerning me) that are weighing heavily on my mind, so I would guess that's what the problem is.

It's very humid here today in Beaver Dam, WI. I was planning on going to the lake when Shawn gets off work, but now I'm not sure. I don't like to sit around outside when it's humid because the mosquitos will eat me alive. This is the first year that I got a bunch of mosquito bites, and now I remember why I hated summers so much in WI!

Posted by Leah @ 12:24 PM CST [Link]

I'm starting over with my blog now that I have moved to Greymatter. I'm still testing everything so I hope it's all working properly. I'm pleased I was able to figure this cgi stuff out.

Don't forget to update your bookmarks!

Posted by Leah @ 09:27 AM CST [Link]

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