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04/22/2002 Entry: "4/22/02 Tornado"

Six years ago today Jesse (my son) and Tim (my husband) were killed in a tornado. This is the first year that I haven't fallen apart so to speak. Usually I start to get really depressed, anxious, and more starting in March. But this year has been easier on me. I guess this means I am finally healing. I can finally think about Jesse without feeling the painful kick to my gutt. I will never get over it. But I will heal, this I need to believe. I am really doing okay with it now.

My candle business is coming along nicely. I have decided to do some further testing so it may be a bit longer before I'm ready to go live than I thought. I am producing some fantasic candles though that burn clean :). I have been busy the past few days working diligently on my new site. I really dislike HTML now, but it's a necessary evil. I'll be glad when the site is completed.

Shawn and I are having a few relationship problems but nothing I want to discuss for the moment. I'm going to wait and see how it goes. We are still talking about our issues so hopefully we can work them out. I am starting to realize that love isn't always enough. We are such opposites in personality (which I love), but some of our differences are starting to wear on the relationship. I guess it's a good thing we have called off the big wedding. We need more time to see how this relationship is going to go. I'll have to write more details later.

Replies: 10 comments

Hi there - I found this site whilst I was just surfing through some weblog directories. So sorry to hear about the tragedy which befell your son & partner six years ago -- it must have been unimaginably devastating for you. I guess that you never really get over things like that -- you just learn to live with them. I'm guessing you are in the US, as we very rarely get such freak weather here (I'm English).

I haven't read all of your weblog, but I saw that you are planning to set up your own business making candles and similar products -- I absolutely love scented candles, they are so popular here, and I'm sure it will all really go well for you!

I'm a single parent myself, but also hoping to set up my own business at some stage -- it will be an information service connected with health issues. I think it must take a huge amount of organisation and self-discipline to get the business launched to schedule!!

Please forgive me for being a little nosy, but I read some of what you wrote about your new partner -- he sounds like pretty much the opposite of most men, ie actually *wanting* to get married and to talk about relationship issues!! With most guys, you don't see them for dust when those issues rear their heads! But again I wish you good luck with whatever you decide to do on that front.

As regards your sad anniversary today, I hope it might help in some small way to know that someone across the pond is thinking of you and what you must be going through psychologically on this incredibly sad anniversary.

All the best :o)
BJ

BJ has spoken @ 04/22/2002 04:58 PM CST

Hi Leah,
I'm so sorry to hear about your terrible loss - I had no idea.
I can't imagine how you must feel & think you must have an enormous amount of inner strength. Today must be very hard for you.
I hope your new 'scented venture' is a success and will watch this space for news!
Lots of love, Ali x

Ali has spoken @ 04/22/2002 07:03 PM CST

*hugs* Glad to hear you're starting to heal and move on after your loss. Hope you and Shawn can get things all sorted out!

Bev has spoken @ 04/22/2002 11:58 PM CST

Hi Leah

I thought about you yesterday and was hoping you were still doing as well as you were when we talked last week. I am so glad you did so well this year and that maybe the healing process is well on it's way now. I remember how down you were last year this time. You are always in my thought but really were yesterday.

I know a little about what is going on with you and Shawn. I do hope that this is something you can work though. Ya'll seem like such a good couple and I know how much different you were when you got back together with him after all those years. I had never seen you happier. Keep your head up girl and try to work through this.

Bren has spoken @ 04/23/2002 06:55 AM CST

Leah, I've been thinking about you lately, knowing this anniversary was coming up. I admire your bravery and spirit so much. Take your time and don't be pushed, you guys will find a way to resolve this, I know it. (((((Hugs)))))

Stephanie has spoken @ 04/23/2002 08:46 AM CST

((HUGS)) I don't know what to say. I had no idea. What an awful tragedy. Sorry things are difficult with Shawn right now. Anything worth having is worth fighting for.

Glad your candle business is coming alone! :)

Julie has spoken @ 04/23/2002 10:41 AM CST

I can't even imagine how you are feeling, I've always admired your strength. I'm glad it is getting easier for you and that you are healing.

I hope you and Shawn can resolve things, the fact you are talking about it is a good thing.

Can't wait until you go live with your candles. I hate html too...something we have to do...ugh.

You take care, I think about you often miss seeing you. *hugs*

Dana Lea has spoken @ 04/25/2002 05:40 AM CST

I'm sorry about the sad day, Leah, but you are an amazingly strong woman and I admire you so much for that. It's great to hear that you are starting to heal and that things do get better for you. Sorry to hear about your and Shawns troubles, but you will get through this. Hang in there.
Good luck in your new venture, Sweetie. Can't wait to see it go live. ;) ((((HUGS))))

Moni has spoken @ 04/25/2002 10:22 AM CST

Hi Leah, I'm glad to hear that this year was a little easier for you. I remember when you wrote about losing your husband and son, and just as I admired your strength then -- I still do today. I hope you and Shawn work through whatever difficulties you are facing - he seems to have brought something back into your life that you were missing.

Along with everyone else, I'll be waiting for when your new business goes live, and wish you the best of luck with everything!

Gaile has spoken @ 05/03/2002 02:33 AM CST

Is this Leah Long from Napa California???

David has spoken @ 05/07/2002 12:12 AM CST

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